Being a mom is truly a gift from the Lord and one of those things that you can’t fully appreciate until you’ve stepped into the role. Marrying Luke and Bodie being born are the two biggest highlights of my life thus far. I’m not a perfect wife or a perfect mom by any stretch, but I can honestly say that I feel like mothering Bodie gives me so much purpose and brings great fulfillment to my life. I’ve been working on this post sporadically and finally got it finished. I’m going to share some cliché phrases that accurately apply to motherhood and a few things that I’ve learned since becoming a mama back in September.
ONE: Time is a thief
This is something I’ve heard my whole life and now I really couldn’t agree more. It always seems that time continues to pass by quicker the older you get, but add a baby in the mix and it’s on a whole new level. There are moments when it feels like it was just a few weeks ago that I was waking up in the middle of the night to feed him and we were watching Hallmark Christmas movies at 3 am (praise that they start playing those things in November) and other moments where that seems so incredibly far removed. It’s July, people, and I have a 10 month old. #mindblown. Although time is a thief, it’s also a gift. I know I won’t always get to rock my little guy to sleep, feed him from a silicone baby spoon, or fix his bottles, so I’m trying to make the most of every fleeting moment of it. Soaking it up while watching it fly by at the same time. I can’t recommend having some form of newborn pictures taken enough. You may recall this post here about the shoot we had done with Reflections By Talea photography when Bodie was 15 days old. We decided to purchase an heirloom album and the joy it brings when we look at it is unrivaled. It’s archived to last up to 200 years so it can take some wear and tear and will stand the test of time. As much as Luke and I love looking at these newborn pictures, I can’t wait for Bodie to be able to look at them as well. We’ve already gotten a jumpstart with that as you can see in the pictures below (the lighting isn’t great in these pics so I do apologize).
TWO: Be in the moment
Allow me to piggyback off of number one with this one. I LOVE pictures and videos and trying to capture memories any possible way that I can. Because time is so fleeting, it’s hard to not jump on every opportunity that we have to capture the moments we’re in (especially these days with having camera/video capability always at our fingertips). My mom always tells me that she has to think so hard about a lot of my gifts because I seem to want a memory tied to everything. Guilty. But thing number two that I’ve really learned within the past 10 months is that, not only can I not capture every moment, but I will lose sight of the present and moment I have if I’m constantly worried about capturing them. Are you following me here? As much as I want to document every second of Bodie’s life (especially these precious baby years), I’m just not going to be able to get it all. There have been times when I’ve been so worried with getting the perfect shot, that I miss a real moment while checking the pictures I just snapped. I have to frequently remind myself to just put down the camera and enjoy the “here and now.” Being in the moment is crucial for my own sanity and my bonding time with Bodie now. If you’re a parent, this is another reason I highly recommend having different photos taken throughout the first year of your baby’s life by a photographer. Let someone else worry about capturing the perfect shot and you just grab the candids here and there.
THREE: It takes a village
Bodie is a fantastic baby. He sleeps 12-13 hours a night and takes two 1.5-2 hour naps each day. He’s not super fussy and has the best little temperament. He’s honestly the happiest, silliest, most joyful little baby I have ever known, and I feel beyond blessed that he has these characteristics and good behaviors. Lately, he has been more needy than usual though and wanting close to constant interaction when he’s awake. Fun but tiring haha. Being a mom, whether to an easy baby or a hard baby, is a tough job and a huge responsibility. My mind is constantly focused on Bodie’s schedule, his needs, wants, etc.—consciously and subconsciously. I have days where I’m absolutely exhausted and couldn’t imagine giving another ounce of myself. Having the love and support of my husband, both sets of grandparents, aunts/uncles, and our friends is has been key. Feeling like you need a break doesn’t make you a bad mom, and accepting help when it’s offered is okay. I had to learn that I needed to allow myself time to breathe and recoup early on so that I didn’t burn out while doing the job I love the most. All of that being said, not everyone has the luxury of having a “village” around them and I understand that. Since early on in Bodie’s life, I have said that I have so much more respect for single moms and actually had no frame of reference for what that really entails. They are seriously the real MVPs and deserve all the praise!
*Most importantly, I want to note that I could not be the best mama to Bodie without the strength of Jesus. I honestly have felt closer to the Lord since becoming a mother than I have in the majority of my time as a Christian. Again, Bodie is such an easy baby (people keep telling me not to have another one because they will never be as good as him haha. Not planning to take that advice, but we’ll see what the Lord has in store), but I couldn’t “mother” and be the best version of me via my own strength. I remember times early on in Bodie’s life when I was so tired and breastfeeding was hard and Luke was at work and family wasn’t staying with us anymore and I would just pray, “Lord, I need you to meet me where I am.” I was so tired, I often couldn’t come up with a full prayer, but I can tell you that He would meet me where I was and gave me so much strength to carry on and learn something new. Things continued to get easier and I would say around 10-12 weeks, I felt like I had kind of gotten the hang of things. The Lord sustained me early on and continues to do so now. I also think so much of my “mama joy” comes from Jesus. Even if you’re a single mama and don’t have a tangible village of family and friends right around you, I encourage you to lean on and look to Jesus because He will support you and sustain you far more than anyone here on earth ever could.
FOUR: Stick to a flexible schedule and stay organized
We started incorporating Mom’s On Call when Bodie was about a month old. This book/program is absolutely amazing and so worthy of the praise it receives. It may not work for everyone since every baby is different, but I personally haven’t talked to any mom who has followed this and didn’t have success. For the first 4 or so weeks, you’re honestly just in survival mode and if anyone tells you differently, they’re lying haha. I altered the schedule by about an hour for a while. Mom’s on Call recommends a 7am-7pm schedule and we did 8am- 8pm. We’re now on a 7:30pm- 8:00/8:30 am schedule… my baby is a sleeper, y’all. The slightly later adjustment just works a little better with our lifestyle for the most part. That being because a) I’m not a morning person, b) Luke often times is at the office until 6:30 or later, and c) we feel like there was more freedom to be out with our friends or do evening things if Bodie is with us without throwing him off too much or dipping out too early. His schedule has constantly evolved over the course of his life, but it’s amazing how easily things fall into place once you set up a routine. Whether you make up your own schedule or follow a program, I strongly recommend implementing some kind of schedule that works for your family. Babies do well with structure and it helps a mama out too. I love having a plan and knowing what’s going on. By having a flexible routine, I’m able to know what’s coming up while still allowing for adjustments when needed. I also think that having a schedule really helps with learning the needs and wants of your baby. If you know it’s getting close to feeding time, their fuss is probably out of hunger. Same for sleep, etc. I’ll share Bodie’s daily schedule below.
Bodie’s typical day:
8:00- 8:15 am: Wake up
8:15- 8:30 am: Eat breakfast (bottle, fruit)
8:45-10:15 am: Play
10:15 am- 12:00 pm: Nap
12:15 pm: Eat lunch (veggies, fruit, wafer, bottle)
12:30pm: Play
2:30 pm: Nap
4:15 pm: Eat supper (veggies, fruit, wafer, bottle)
4:30 pm- 7:15 pm: play, splash in kiddie pool, stroller ride
7:15- 7:30 pm: Bedtime routine (jammies, lotion, bottle in room, prayers, goodnight)
*This is a general guideline for how our day goes. Obviously, there are times when we are out at appointments or running errands during nap time or we aren’t home right on the dot for a feeding, but I try and keep things as consistent as possible. I almost always make sure he gets at least one of his two big naps at home in his crib every day if we aren’t going to be home for both.
FIVE: Give Grace (all the grace)
Give grace to yourself, your husband, your baby… basically just give it to everyone haha. I believe that showing grace to others is one of the most Christ-like examples I can set. Obviously the grace we show is on such a small level compared to the sacrifice of death on a cross, but we can still glorify Him and make life a little sweeter for others when we give grace out freely. Especially as a first-time mom, I have constantly had to live this one out. Everything is so new and you/your family are just trying to figure things out while taking care of a tiny human.
SIX: Postpartum hair loss is the devil
Okay, this isn’t a cliché phrase, but needed to be included nevertheless. There are books on fertility, books on what to expect before baby, books on every aspect of pregnancy, books on breastfeeding, books on baby schedules, etc., etc. But I would love an explanation of why on earth there is no book for dealing with postpartum hair loss and the regrowth that presents itself in the form of rock and roll, bird feather bangs?! I was not prepared for the misery that is postpartum hair loss and regrowth. If I find some reliable research on what to do or some good solutions of my own, I’ll update this section. For now, I’ll just keep being annoyed and try to figure out what to do with my bird feathers every morning. In all seriousness though, postpartum can be challenging. Challenging in the first few weeks, challenging in the first few months. It’s different for everyone and there’s no formula of how to navigate your new normal. Hormones are trying to regulate, you’re trying to learn your baby and what to do, and quite frankly, birth just changes you. Whatever postpartum struggle you’re going through, know you’re not alone and we all have them whether just a few or many. 
If you made it through this novel, bless you. If you’re a mama, are there any cliché phrases you have found to be overwhelmingly true in your life? Happy weekend. xoxo.
